My journey begins

Assalamualaikum everyone,  The heart is the most important part of our body. Actions speak louder than words. What we do reflects on the condition of our hearts. This could be interpreted in so many different ways. For instance, if we love something, if we are truly passionate towards it, we would do pretty much ANYTHING & EVERYTHING to obtain and achieve it..  Looking back on my life, all that I've done... why have I done it? What was the driving force?  It was always about achievements, success, titles, where I come from, I was.. what people would refer to as a "paper-chaser"... busy chasing and rushing after every single thing possible... every certificate, every trophy, ... yes everything... and anything to make me feel like I was worthy like I had achieved something. Like ... I was not a failure. But why? Why is it so important for me to feel like I was something... that I am somebody.... And why did I feel like I wasn't good enough?  ...

Assalamu'alaikum everyone, I'm not sure if anyone still follows and reads anything on this blog.. it's been almost 3 years since I last posted. My last post being the one titled: "Am I weak?"  dated back to Sept 2015. Truthfully, I went through a lot between that time and now.. still going through a lot actually. But .. the dark clouds are starting to clear up for me. At that time, I felt betrayed and hurt.. and so I  started questioning a lot of things.. my family, my friends, my faith, my purpose, and ultimately ... I didn't see the point in trying to be better anymore. It seemed like all my efforts were just misunderstood. Although, I knew that you can only stay committed to something if your intention is truly for Allah and nothing else.. because everything else in this world is temporary.. and constantly changing. What I'm trying to say is... don't base your intentions on anything that is temporary... because then your motivation ...